Paul Palmer, proud to be a pisces man

Are you planning to make a change in yourself? If you are, I would like to share some tips on how to go about getting the best results.

Maybe you want to lose weight, get into good physical shape, or quit smoking. Maybe you’d like to learn to do something new, or do something you already do better. Maybe you want to work on your anger, like we talked about yesterday. Whatever it is you want to do, there are three things we now know about self-directed change that can help you.

First, set goals that aren’t too big, too difficult, or too distant. Your long-term goal may be to lose 50 pounds by next summer, but a better goal might be to lose 5 to 10 this month. Next, carefully monitor yourself so you always know how you’re doing. Record your weight daily. Keep track of everything you eat and what you do to burn calories. Like my consultant friends keep saying, “What gets measured, gets done.”

By the way, don’t waste energy beating yourself up when you slip or fail. It turns out the kind of feedback that works is the kind that emphasizes what you are doing right, not how you blew it.

Finally, reward yourself for reaching minor goals and give yourself meaningful incentives to keep going. Short-term goals, careful monitoring, and rewards and incentives are three things that help you to change.

I would add one more thing, and it may be the most important of all: believe in your ability to achieve your goal. If you don’t believe you can lose five pounds in 30 days, you won’t put much energy into trying. So go ahead now make the change.

Paul Palmer

Personal development is the key to success

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The family is the main place where we develop our self-esteem. It can also be a place where self-esteem withers. I intentionally act in a way that builds self esteem when family palmer get together, letting my kids help me makes them feel good. I can see the benefits in their attitudes and behaviour.

Virginia Satir was a family therapist who influenced and touched people all over the world. She was a pioneer in the study of self-esteem, and had this to say about families: “Feelings of worth flourish in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.”

But if you grew up in a family where one or both parents were abusive, where there were unresolved mental health problems, or where alcohol or drugs were an issue, you know that family life can be very different from this description. In fact, it can be downright damaging.

Perhaps, now it’s time for you to take on a parenting role, and maybe you’re wondering if you can break the cycle. Or maybe you’ve been a parent for a while and realize you could be doing a better job of it. Whatever your situation, you’ll benefit from taking an honest look at your strengths and limitations.

You see, when you acknowledge and accept the past, reach out for new understanding (as you’re doing now), and then decide you’d like to raise your kids in a better way, you are breaking the cycle. And you are building your own self-esteem – the first step in helping your own kids to do well.

Paul Palmer

My wife and I split up some time ago, the boys no longer accept her abusive behaviour when they see here. I resisted breaking up the family palmer for four years now I wish it had happened years earlier.

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