Family palmer rules for raising kids, make your own rules
If you are a parent or grandparent, you know there are plenty of rules for raising kids. However, we are all different, including our children so ignoring these rules can sometimes be a good idea.
Some years ago, in his book, How to Parent, Dr. Fitzhugh Dodson said that, “Raising a child is a human relationship, and human relationships cannot be reduced to a set of rules.”
Rules are only guidelines, and both you and your child are unique. Each of you is a product of a special combination of genes and environment that has never existed before. What’s more, you have a special relationship with each of your children that is different from the relationship of any other two people on this planet.
So, avoid the mistake of trying to fit this relationship into any preconceived idea of what it’s “supposed to be” like. Refrain from dogmatically following a set of rules, even when the rules are written by a so-called “expert.” And, don’t try to force your child to conform to someone else’s idea of what she or he should be.
The most important thing you can do for your children or grandchildren is to offer them stability, guidance and support while they explore, and learn to realize, the unique potential self which is unfolding within them.
You can reinforce their efforts to achieve worthwhile goals, you can set reasonable limits, and you can remain flexible. But most of all, you can make sure they know that you recognize and respect them for the goodness that resides within each of them.