Do you understand your belief system?
If you have negative beliefs about yourself, did you ever stop to take a look at how they got there in the first place?
We all have beliefs about who we are and what we are like. However, we were not born with these beliefs, so how did we get them? Well, one of the most common ways is by what we are told about ourselves by others when we are young – especially by important grownups like parents and teachers. Now this telling can be verbal or nonverbal, and for our own sanity, it is important that they match.
In other words, if my parents tell me I am smart and funny but they seldom laugh at my jokes or really listen to me, and they don’t pay much positive attention to my accomplishments, I am likely to give their actions more weight than their words.
Now, that weight, or sanction, is important. Because it is not until you give sanction to someone else’s message that you really take it in and make it a part of yourself. If you are a little kid and your parents tell you that you are clumsy or stupid enough times, and they treat you like you are clumsy and stupid, you will take that in and give it sanction. You will believe yourself to be clumsy and stupid. You will make clumsy and stupid part of your self-image, and sure enough, you will start to act clumsy and stupid.
Fortunately, once you are grown there are things you can do to deliberately change those parts of your self-image that are negative.
I have the courage to teach people how to do this and, believe me, you can do it too.